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“But if the sober couple uses the tools of the 12 steps and applies them to their relationship, they can find themselves in a better partnership than most.Though they might have a higher sensitivity to critical comments, they also have access to tools that can help them to be both loving and kind and honest.In many families, the entire family system has been organized by alcoholism.Not every couple will or, for their own personal health should survive recovery. This could be a time of tremendous personal growth for all individuals involved or it could turn out to be a period of decline.Abstinence may be as hard or even harder than drinking for the alcoholic because it reveals so many problems that were obscured by the family's focus on alcohol.Denial remains as strong as ever as the family has to face the harsh realities of delusion, illusion and collusion that have dominated its reality during drinking and that are now revealed during the period of abstinence.

Punch line: They move in together before it's over.You can tell them, “I’ve been in six rehabs, four psych wards, and I’ve been arrested for assault.” And, they’re like, “Of course you have.” The downside is that they, too, are often a ticking time bomb.Natasha, an ex-pat who's been on the wagon for 10 years agrees.There is no birth of consciousness without pain(Cambell 1971, pg.167).Three focuses of therapy will be reviewed in this paper. Alcoholism is viewed as a disease and family members also have the disease of "codependence" (Cermak, 1986).

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